Why Is Nothing Ever Easy?
Pepsi Industrial - March 2023
The Context
Buckle up folks, this one’s a doozy! In March 2023, I got booked on an “Industrial” for Pepsi! Industrials are usually live or filmed events that are quick work for a couple days. My agent submitted my dance reel to this job and informed me that I got booked!! Best part - didn’t even have to audition, score.
One of the things I find a bit crazy about commercial dance is that sometimes you start a gig and have no context on the details before you arrive at rehearsal. For example, a couple years ago, I danced on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver — I had no clue before I showed up what the show was, what the set would be, what type of dancing and so much more. I basically had received a confirmation saying “HBO Show,” a rate, and rehearsal date and time.
Similarly, I had very little context on the Pepsi gig. I received an email with rehearsal dates and work dates and showed up at Ripley Grier studios for the first day of rehearsal without knowing the styles, choreographers, or context… 🥲🫠 here we go!
The Story
I showed up at rehearsal bright and early. On my way there, I vlogged to my friends about how pumped I was to do a fun little gig that would be exciting and unproblematic (the irony truly kills me). I got into the room and I didn’t recognize any familiar faces but introduced myself to everyone. There was a sprinkled mixed of races in the room and there were two choreographers - one white woman and one black woman. I was the only South Asian in the room ~shocker!!
I put my bags down and started stretching - they were choreographing to Beyonce! All of a sudden, the mix changed and started playing Kala Chashma. I looked up and they started doing the choreography. Not to be ~dramatic~ but this was the beginning of the end.
We started the rehearsal and the choreographers jumped right in. They explained we’d be doing a mix to Beyonce, an Anita song, and Kala Chashma, which were the songs the Pepsi team provided. They said they wanted to incorporate Latin Jazz and Bollywood. We started with the Bollywood section and, before starting, the choreographer said, “We don’t know what we’re doing, so Ramita [mispronounced: Rameeda] can help us out”. It was in passing and I just smiled and chuckled because 🚩!
We jump into the choreo and it was probably the most culturally appropriated Bollywood I’ve ever done. I have a high tolerance for this type of thing but we started with this hand gesture -👌🏽👌🏽- moved on to deep squat jumps with prayer hands 🙏🏽, did some random bellydancing, “Bhangra“ steps that felt more like African dance, and oh they kept saying things like “ole” on every flick of the hand. Maybe it’s just me but that’s about 5 cultures and/or continents that we just touched on…yay #ethnic.
As I learned the choreo, I was in a full panic mode. I actually kept getting noted and corrected as well because I was just so physically panicky and stressed out for two hours. Thoughts were running though my head - what do I do, should I say something, is this salvageable, should I just suck it up and keep going, is this offensive or am I overreacting, will they be pissed if I speak up, what are the next steps?
When we had a break I texted my friends freaking out and asked what to do. Nick, my best friend, told me I should call my agent and ask her what she thinks. I had never contacted my agent with problems on a job before, but luckily I just got a new one and had a very upfront conversation with her about having race related problems during industry jobs and wanting to avoid spaces that would lead to that. She was awesome about it during our intro meeting, so I felt comfortable talking to her about this. She wasn’t available during my lunch break so we decided to chat at the end of the day.
The rest of the day was fine - we moved onto the other sections which were a bit more fun, although pretty sure the “latin” section was equally appropriated, but one hill at at time people. Later in the day, a member of the Pepsi / producing team came in to watch the dance and approve costumes.
We did the entire set for her and she said she “LOVED” the Bollywood section because it’s so “colorful” and “exciting”! Lol. We also started seeing costumes - there were different looks for every section. For women, the Bollywood section outfit was a unitard, harem pants, and ~bellydance skirts. The guys were in Wakanda-esque African tunics. Everything was in Pepsi colors lmao (pics below).
At this point, as I saw everything was being approved in real time, I decided it was too far gone. It was a one day gig and I didn’t want to rock the boat or take the effort to speak up - especially when I might get heat for it - for such a short project. I decided the best thing to do was quietly dip out and allow it to proceed as planned, I just didn’t feel comfortable being a part of it.
Oy // why is nothing ever easy?
I went home and sent my agent a message explaining what had happened. We chatted on the phone and she was totally incredible and really supported me. I felt immensely grateful and seen - and I don’t take that lightly because that’s not always the case with agents, it can feel really scary to speak up even to them.
She emailed the team and said I didn’t feel comfortable and wanted to step out of the gig this time around. The choreographer got back to her saying “Why didn’t she say something, she should’ve spoken up in the room”. To that, my agent said, you hired her as a dancer, not as a cultural consultant, not as a choreographer - it was not her responsibility to say anything, she didn’t feel comfortable, and quite frankly - you need to pay her to do that (GO OFF QUEEN!). The choreographer got back and said okay, we can hire her now to fix it.
I was unsure about this because I felt like the harm had already been caused - and I also feared it might be a bit uncomfortable with the choreographer and the other dancers. However, I appreciated that they wanted to make it right and said I’d be happy to help. They asked for some suggestions on what needed to be fixed so they could run changes and budget by the execs. I sent a few quick bullets on how costumes + choreo could be slightly tweaked to be more respectful.
Fast forward a week, my agent got back and said that the execs approved the dance as is and didn’t have the budget to bring on a consultant. I had said if they weren’t planning to make changes, I am still fine to just step out. And I thought that was the END OF THAT.
Another week later, I get texts from a few friends who said they were submitted for the project - two of them saw me in the video, saw how appropriated it was, and both turned it down (snaps for solidarity and a small South Asian community lol). Apparently as they were searching for a replacement for me, my named was suggested 3 different times which is further hilarious and ironic. When everyone turned down the slot, I guess they realized they might need a consultant after all.
Instead of coming back to me and asking if I’d still dance and consult - they decided to work with another friend of mine. The choreographer even mentioned to my friend that “the previous dancer had issues but didn’t say anything so we don’t even know what the issue was”. Ultimately, this friend became the consultant, fixed the choreo, and brought in another dancer. Both the consultant and the new dancer got paid a full rate (remember when they said they didn’t have a consulting budget??). Overall, I got paid $0 for the entire process, including the rehearsal that I had already done. It was a very hurtful experience for several reasons - one of the trickiest experiences and outcomes in my career.
Joys
My agent. I am so incredibly grateful for her support and willingness to stand up for me in this situation. I was really lucky to have an open line of communication. Even though that sounds like a bare minimum for someone who represents you, it’s unfortunately slightly rare in this industry. This reminded me that we are humans first, and we should not have to be put into environments that are dangerous or harmful.
My friends and South Asian solidarity. I am very grateful to the friends who touched base with me about this gig, turned down the gig, and spoke to me to ask what had happened. I felt really happy that I have a reputation and network in this small community where others know that I lead with integrity and professionalism. I think we need even more solidarity to have a collective front in moments when racism, appropriation and harm are being created.
This gig happened around the same time as the large scale Oscars Naatu Naatu fiasco (warrants it’s whole separate post). It was a time that brought the South Asian community together in many ways. In response, my friend Ishita created a South Asian solidarity group with a small group of South Asians in the western dance industry (to start), so that we could build dialogue around circumstances like this and have a roadmap of what to do when it happens again. This has brought me so much gratitude and joy to have a space to discuss and make actionable change with people I really respect and admire!
Take Aways
No matter how uncomfortable or risky it was to say no, I am so glad that I did it. So many times artist operate in scarcity - in fear of a burned bridge, lost income, a bad reputation or more. But there is no reason to do things that make you feel uncomfortable or that compromise your values and beliefs. If I had done this job as it was, I would have felt truly horrible about myself as it would have been the antithesis to everything I have done and want to do to promote representation in this industry. Integrity is of the utmost importance to me, so I feel very grateful that I’ve grown to a place in my career where I had the guts to say no, establish a strong boundary, and make the most of it. Honestly, I really got the short end of the stick here - no money, seemingly a bad rep from the choreographer, and probably a burned bridge - but I truly believe I acted in the most professional way I knew how in the face of active racism, appropriation, and silencing. If I had to do it again, I would still lead with integrity, know my boundaries, and rely on solidarity from supporters that I’m very lucky to have in my life.
Links / References
Photos of the fits
Me demonstrating the choreo to my friends (lol) ⬇️🫠